Happiness is fleeting, and it should be. This is, of course, an overly simplified statement. And quite frankly, one that provides little to no solace. So, why bother to state it?
Understanding the fleeting nature of happiness has the power to enhance it.
When Holding On Holds You Back
When we grasp at the moments, experiences, and things that bring about those beloved bursts of serotonin, we are often robbing ourselves of experiencing them fully. Our attachment paralyzes us in the underlying, ever-present fear of the temporary nature of these moments. Gripping so tightly is a defense mechanism to prevent them from ending and the glow of happiness from fading.
Because surely, shouldn’t we always be seeking and holding onto happiness? Won’t this bring about the most fulfillment?
Through our grasp, however, we are positioning ourselves to feel a more deeply rooted pain when these moments are gone. Accepting the transitory nature of a happiness-inducing experience supports unconditional bliss in the moment and a reassurance that it will come again in some form.
Avoidance Does Not Equal Happiness
Part of this difficulty is facing the reality that pain and struggles are unavoidable. When we think we can live life in such a manner that avoids pain completely, that’s the exact moment when we transfer our power to it. In fact, it can turn the intensity up on our pain.
It also makes the times where we don’t feel a struggle so much more dire. It becomes life or death for happiness to succeed and stay. But, it can’t stay. It won’t ever stay.
The moments of happiness when experienced without terms or conditions can still be held as fond memories that when recalled unearth the warmth of fulfillment.
It is human nature to want to avoid confronting a struggle or source of pain. On its face, it seems to make perfect sense. If we can avoid it, then we won’t ever feel the pain.
This is a significant perpetuator of anxiety; avoiding our source of pain and fear almost always exacerbates it. It provides power to that unknown and holds us hostage to it.
Here, gripping to happiness can feel like the perfect solution. But, the very action of gripping to happiness becomes our act of an avoidance of pain.
We’ll Wake the Next Day Different
One of the biggest hurdles is understanding, and accepting, that when we rise the next day, things will be different. More often than not, the soothing or invigorating feelings that happiness had brought have dissipated. The tint on the rose colored glasses has begun to clear.
The wake of that dissipation may feel unsteady. The challenge here is self examination. What can you learn about yourself in those moments of transition? Can we tap into our strength to rise again, stepping into the unknown?
Seeking a Better Relationship to Happiness
It is a personal battle of my own to sit in the bliss of fleeting happiness without holding onto it with a fearful grip. I find it to be an active physical and mental exercise to relax into the bliss and to boldly face the fear that it won’t last or come again. I tussle with avoidance of pain in order to more fluidly move through life and not unhealthily attach myself to happiness.
For today… or maybe just for this moment, I will step into the joy of fleeting happiness.
marylaneyoga 